Knee Deep

 

AP NEWS - Lusaka Zambia
The morning jog of a 30 year old American took an unexpected turn today. Robert Yohnka, an employee of Zambia Emory HIV Research Project - Lusaka, is what the running community refers to as "a guy with heart" -pretty slow but still out there at 6:00am. In recent months he has been passed by non-excersizing pedestrians wearing flip flops, dress shoes or just bare feet.

At his usual time today, he set off on a normal route leading from his home through Emmasdale compound. At the 5 minute mark he reached Bread of Life Church where considerable construction is taking place. Mr. Yohnka admits that he saw others taking "the long route" around the construction site. The same route he took last week which, he states, affected his "lap time". On this day he thought he could "high step it and stay on the high ground". According to one witness there was "one, maybe two high steps and then many very very low steps." Yohnka was almost waist deep in what he later referred to as "some form of quick sand".

Mutinta Mwale was one of 25-30 witnesses on hand when Yohnka struggled through the mud. When asked if she offered any assistance she briefly described the scene. "What could I do? He was like some kind of animal stuck in a trap. He would take two steps, use his arms to get himself free, take two more steps and he was back in the mud!"

After a 60 second struggle, Yohnka reached high ground. Absolutely covered in mud, he had nothing but compliments for his on-lookers. "I knew I was in no position to get real assistance but at least they didn't laugh or throw things at me." The on-lookers all apologized for Yohnka's misfortune as if somehow they were really behind it. "Sorry sorry (sounds more like solly, solly)", cried by-standers. A normal response from a population that tends not to laugh at such misfortunes.

Will this affect Yohnka's outlook on his morning fitness routine? "Probably not", stated the shaken 150 pounder. (stats provided by Yohnka) "It will definitely affect the route I take. I want to stay clear of anyone that may have witnessed this."